Some people claim I'm thalassophobic (fear of the ocean), and there may be a little truth to that, but I assure you that it in no wayaffects the logic of this list ?.

1. First, and most importantly, it's infested with horrifying man/woman- eating monsters called SHARKS!

2. Let me tell you something. Sharks can BREATH underwater. Humans cannot. Trust me, I've tried.

3. And if the sharks don't get you - riptide will

4. Casual waves can seriously injure you

5. One word: Tsunami. Need I say more?

6. When you think about it, the ocean is like a giant community bathtub

7. ... or bathroom

8. Not to mention the fact that sand gets EVERYWHERE

9. And it sure can get hot!

10. ....When you're swimming and something brushes against your foot

11. You know what lives in oceans? These things

12. Water activities in general are just dangerous

13. I mean, waterskiing is great ... until you crash

14. There's always that terrifying feeling of not being able to see what's underneath you.

15. Or that moment when you catch a fleeting glance of something in the murky water

16. You're cheating death every time you make it back onto the beach

17. For your next vacation, try going somewhere a little more exciting, and a lot safer

OK, you've heard enough from me. What do youthink? Tell us about your seaside experiences: