Be completely honest, when you create New Year’s resolutions, do you consider how they’ll effect your spouse? Probably not, right? But should you?
Making a resolution means you are intentionally trying to do or not do something. According to research by The Healthy, the top 15 New Year’s resolutions are: get in shape, lose weight, enjoy life to the fullest, spend less and save more, spend time with family and friends, get organized, learn something new, travel more, break your smartphone addiction, cook more meals at home, consume less alcohol, quit smoking, and reduce stress. I’ve either personally pledged those resolutions or know someone who has.
While those resolutions are all stellar, what if you narrowed down your resolution(s) for next year, a little more. Instead of making the goal of eating at home more often, what if your goal was cooking more meals together as a couple (or family)? Or maybe breaking your smartphone addiction actually means, reading a book together, about a subject you and your husband are interested in.
Did you know that the American divorce rate is 50%? Yes, that’s correct – 50%. In case you’re not good at math, that means half of marriages fail.
You’re probably thinking that you do not have to worry about your marriage. But healthy marriages (the ones that have a chance of making it) are the relationships that are proactive. Instead of trying to fix things when they break, the couples who make it are the ones investing in each other the every day.
This year when you make your New Year’s resolutions think about your husband and consider these goals:
Scale Back and Adopt a Minimalism Lifestyle
Marie Kondo is onto something! The philosophy of getting rid of excess stuff and living based on experiences rather than worldly possessions is a real thing – and something people are thriving in. Less stuff frees up so many aspects of your life. With less stuff you have more space, time, finances and appreciation for what matters.
Your husband will appreciate your minimalistic outlook because that will be less time to tidy up and more time to spend together. Moreover, you’ll have additional funds to take that bucket list trip and overall be less stressed. There is a long list of pros from scaling back and having a minimalistic view.
Make Time for One-on-One Time
Believe me, I know it’s incredibly hard to line up a babysitter or say no to the obligatory list of to-dos. However, making time for your spouse means you are prioritizing your relationship. If you have kids, your husband can feel isolated and invisible. Designating time, to just your husband, will show him that you do see him.
Before you roll your eyes, think about it. Do you perk up a little bit, when someone invests time or attention on you?
Your time together doesn’t have to be Instagram worthy. In fact, your time can be wine on the porch, watching a movie when the kids are in bed, taking a walk together or cooking a meal together. During this time put your phones away, eliminate any other distractions and focus on each other. Implementing this action as a resolution will create an understanding (with yourself) and reveal a commitment of priority to your spouse.
Do you remember when you were dating your husband? Things were a lot more light hearted, right? Make the resolution to have more fun. If I’m being honest, when you get married and have children, priorities take over. Some days feel more like a giant to-do list and you forget about the meaningful moments – the times when you didn’t have to rush bedtimes, when you didn’t have to worry about picking up and dropping off kids, and when you were individuals.
Make more fun! Life doesn’t have to be a constant check list of things. Be present and look for ways you can live more freely. Your husband will appreciate your fun nature and spirit. Making time for fun means creating more memorable memories within your relationship.
It’s probably easier said than done but anything difficult (and worthwhile) takes time. Make a resolution to stress less. In many ways, stressing less is a lifestyle and a new way of thinking. There are some things we have total control over and there are other things that are completely out of our control. There are only a certain number of hours in the day and the reality is, can the thing you “have to” wait?
You only get one life. Don’t waste it on making sure your house is pristine and perfect. I can’t remember the last time a visitor noticed the perfectly aligned pillows or neatly folded throw blankets in the basket. Let go of things that don’t really matter. Stop yourself from getting upset over the things out of your control. Yes, traffic is terrible today, but you know what…that’s not going to change. So, stop acting like you can change it and allowing it to affect your state of mind. Your husband (and family) will thoroughly appreciate your stress less mentality.
Could you still use a little nudge or assistance? No worries consider incorporating affirmations into your morning routine. Affirmations are a great way to reinforce change and promote a positive well-being. The Huffington Post has compiled a great list. You can bookmark this page and refer to it daily or go the extra mile and write them on a post-it. Display the affirmations in places you visit on a regular basis – your computer monitor, bathroom mirror, car dashboard, fridge or your coffee tumbler/mug cabinet.
A New Year’s resolution is meant to help you become a better version of yourself. Oftentimes, when we make these resolutions, we do not consider the important people in our lives. It’s important to think about the ways being a better version of yourself can improve your relationship with your husband (and household). Perhaps thinking about someone else and putting their needs first, can improve your life and overall state of being.