When faced with infidelity, people like to look for reasons to cheat such as, "I no longer love you", "It's not romantic anymore", "He ignores me", "My life is boring", "I no longer feel a spark", "The house is a mess." And of course, we could go on and on listing more reasons. However, if we look closely, it is clear that they all have two things in common: first, justifying the infidelity and second, blaming the partner.
Love demands a commitment that must go beyond a feeling, which can wear out or be devalued. It is clear that one does not get to infidelity, if one is willing to closely follow a path that is known to many: communicating to re-start the relationship if it is falling into monotony and growing continuously, both individually and as a couple.
It amazes me how many of those who commit an infidelity did not even have any motive or reason to: suddenly in the office or on the street, someone throws them a look, a compliment, smile at them, are friendly and there you are; no reason is needed. Some people are willing to lose family, employment and even friends. Some regret the consequences, but after the damage is already done.
Much has been said about infidelity, but beyond the reasons or how to overcome it, I want to highlight this simple guide on how to become trustworthy. Because it's possible to remember to love despite temptation, and this temptation should not exceed values, wisdom and the love of your family.
There is a way to become very rational and not be swayed by the moment. Here are some of the guidelines:
If you suddenly feel attracted to a person other than your husband or wife, avoid it. Do not perpetuate intentional encounters with this person; always remember that you have a commitment to your family and your spouse waiting for you at home.
Think of the consequences
This is a wise and practical advice we all know, but it needs to be practiced more. However, it will be incredibly useful if you are thinking of taking a wrong step in your relationship. Just stop and think what will happen when your spouse finds out you are unfaithful?
Don't think it will not happen; they will find out, so don't underestimate your partner. So ask yourself if you're willing to lose the trust and love of your husband or your wife; think of the pain that causes your children and the image they have of you. Are you willing to risk what you've built with your spouse from years of love, effort and dedication?
Think about their feelings
Put yourself in your spouse's place and think to yourself this simple question: how would you feel if you find out you're being deceived?
Find out if something is failing in your relationship
Ask yourself: what really attracts me to this person? It is likely that this attraction is unveiling something wrong in your marriage or with your spouse.
Leave curiosity alone
For those whose motivation is the desire to experience new things, remember, feeling something "new" is not worth sacrificing what you have. If you really need a change and something new in your emotional life, talk it over with your spouse.
Infidelity opens a deep wound that is next to impossible to heal, despite forgiveness and new opportunities, nothing will be the same. Once confidence has been undermined, once the commitment is gone in a relationship, it is almost impossible to recover. So think twice the next time you feel that things are not going well, and you think the only solution to the situation is being unfaithful.
This article is a translation from the original article "La infidelidad, esa delgada linea que al cruzar no tiene retorno" on Familias.com.