This article was originally published on Patheos. It has been republished here with permission.

My amazing wife, Ashley and I just celebrated our fourteenth wedding anniversary! The time has flown by, and I can honestly say I've grown in love with her more and more with each passing year. I'm one blessed dude!

Anniversaries cause me to reflect back and learn from my experiences. I've been giving a lot of thought to the mistakes I've made over the years so I can (hopefully) not repeat those same mistakes in the future. As I look at my own track record and compare it to the experiences of the thousands of other couples we work with online and in person, I'm convinced that the most common mistake in marriage comes down to this...

It's not about the BIG mistakes that we all know can wreck a marriage (adultery, blatant deceit, abuse, etc.). The most common mistake in marriage is found in those daily little choices we make with no regard to our spouse's feelings.

It's a simple lack of thoughtfulness

I've done this much more than I'd like to admit.

It's been in those times I've said something careless without thinking and I've hurt Ashley's feelings. It's been in those moments I've committed us to something without asking Ashely her thoughts or even checking her calendar. It's been in those moments I've made a spontaneous purchase with no regard to the family budget. It's been in all those careless, selfish little moments when I haven't shown thoughtfulness to my beautiful bride.

The most common mistakes in my marriage (and I'm willing to bet the most common mistakes in your marriage too) have all come down to a lack of thoughtfulness. It wasn't done with malicious intent, and yet, we still wound each other simply by not considering each other. Every decision you make will impact your spouse in some way, so consider them in all you do.

Thoughtfulness is the fuel that keeps a marriage going strong through every season of life, so keep being thoughtful, respectful, considerate and loving towards each other!

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