Being a new parent is overwhelming and you've probably read a whole lot of books and been given tons of advice on how to do it right. On the other hand, you probably haven't been given much advice on how to be a husband and a dad at the same time.
Many essentials of being a husband and wife can shift when your child is born. Navigating parenthood can be tricky, but here are 7 essentials you need to know when your wife becomes a mom:
1. She can't do it alone
Your wife is going to do everything she can to be an amazing mother, but without you, she can only operate at a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10. She needs to know that she can rely on you. She doesn't need you to give 50 percent so that she can match with 50 percent. She needs you to put a full 100 percent into being a parent so that she can put in a full 100 percent as well. That's the only way you can be successful at this parenting thing.
2. She feels ugly
Her body isn't the same as it was. Her abdomen ballooned to grow a baby and she's left with fat in all the wrong places and stretch marks on her belly.
Not only is her body different, but she has nothing to wear. Her maternity clothes feel gross and boring and she can't fit into her pre-pregnancy clothes yet. Your wife isn't feeling her prettiest and she probably isn't looking her prettiest either. She needs to know that you love her for who she is and you are grateful that her body was able to give you a child.
3. She needs you to help without being asked
Your wife may seem like Wonder Woman, but unless she has the lasso and boots to prove it, she doesn't have any superpowers. Even though she might try to do everything, she simply doesn't have the capacity. She needs you to be a father, which means taking an equal role in caring for your baby and keeping the house clean. She needs you to be her partner and she shouldn't have to ask you to step up to that role.
4. She's going to put the baby first
How could she not be obsessed with your little one? There is so much to learn about parenting, and your cute baby needs so much care and love. With that being said, forgive her if she's not able to focus on you as much. From now on you'll have to share the spotlight with your little one. However, over time her hawklike focus on your child will start to relax.
5. She can't take your judgement
When you become a mother, everyone seems to have an opinion.
"Soothe your baby!"
"Let her cry it out!"
"Get him vaccinated!"
"Keep those medicines far away!"
No matter what your wife does, someone is passing judgment. Don't add to that pressure by sending more judgment her way. Of course, you're welcome to disagree with her parenting choices - you're the baby's parent too. However, when you have these discussions, pick which battles are worth fighting and always approach the discussion with compassion and understanding.
6. She needs to rest
Your wife just created a human and went through physical trauma to give him life. With that being said, her body needs time to recover.
Even after her body has recuperated, make sure you give her ample opportunity to rest. There will always be a dish to clean and a yard to weed. It's your job to force her to embrace free time to catch up on her favorite book or take a nap and not the laundry.
7. She loves you even more
Of course she loved you when you were dating and when you became her husband, but when you became the father of her child, her love for you grew even more. She is so happy that you wer able to create this little person with her. She loves that he has your nose and your toes. She loves that you are going to be the one to teach him how to flip a pancake and how to be respectful. Becoming a dad makes your wife love you even more.