"You know there are things you can do to get a girl?" a stranger asks, while winking her eye and awkwardly smiling, as if I have no idea how babies are made. Once I stop blushing, thank the woman at the grocery store for her mating advice and prepare to move along, I'm stunned when the next question comes, "Have you thought of adopting a girl?"
This well-meaning lady can't resist asking these questions as she sees my pink Kate Spade bag being raided for suckers, my blush-colored high heels tripping over a boy pretending to be a puppy and my bright coral lipstick rubbing off on my son's ear as I tell him to calm down for the twentieth time.
I love freshly manicured nails; my favorite color is pink; I hate being dirty; and I love blouses, skirts and excessive amounts of jewelry. Lipstick and perfume are my daily essentials. I am the definition of a girly girl, and yet, I am a mother to all boys.
My husband and four boys fill every space of our home with soccer balls, footballs, cleats, stinky socks, dirt, grass, penny boards, skate boards, long boards and more dirt and more grass. Our television spews forth constant sports coverage.
I hate potty talk and despise violence, blood and boogers.
So, why me?
My oldest son's kindergarten teacher taught him, "You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit." That's the answer. God decided I needed to have all boys. So why won't everyone stop asking me if I want a girl?
We live in a society able to control almost every aspect of our lives from the moment of conception: whether we will have a baby or not, the shape of our nose, the size of our waist and the color of our hair. It's beyond comprehension that we can't control the gender of the life we are creating.
Actually, with the right resources and enough money it is entirely possible to determine gender. It's also entirely possible that if my boys want to be girls, they can choose to do so at anytime. Our Entitlement Generation has us believing we can have anything we want. And not only should I want a girl, but I should have a girl because other people do.
The recurring questions lead me to think I should feel less valuable because I don't have a daughter or that my sons should feel inferior because they don't have a sister. I'm sure this is not the intention of the question, "Do you want a girl," but it is often the unintended result.
I typically engage these questions with humor, but if my boys weren't playing tag around the shopping cart, I'd probably take a moment to tell my new friend how I really feel. I'd tell her I'm sure having a daughter would be amazing, but I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I stare at my beautiful, healthy, amazing boys in awe and wonder every day. They are my most precious gift from God. I couldn't wish for anything more, different or better.
I am sure braiding hair, painting nails and playing dress-up with a daughter would be incredible. But, instead of dwelling on what I don't have, I choose to see the beauty my all-boy family has to offer. Dirty faces, stained t-shirts and messy hair are not only endearing but a requirement in our household.
I enjoy the low-maintenance yet high-energy that is constant in our home. Tolerating wrestling matches is a blessing and watching sports with my boys is fun. In spite of my positive attitude, others insist I need to "try one more time for a girl."
I don't walk around asking people if they want to be better looking, want to be a millionaire or if they want to have better manners. We all have something in our lives we want. We must trust that our Higher Power is giving us what we need.
So, stop asking if I want a girl!