I'm an ordinary girl who has been married for almost eight years to an extraordinary guy. Although our marriage is seemingly ordinary, we are head over heels in love with each other and are beyond happy together. In my own marriage, I've found that these 10 things transform an apparently ordinary marriage into something that is truly awesome:
1. We're best friends
We laugh, we cry, we eat ice cream and chocolate when we eat our feelings, and we know everything about each other. We send funny texts, pictures, and videos throughout the day and call just to see what the other is doing. When we come home to each other we're happy because the best of times never end when we're together.
2. We're in it for forever
Forget "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health". When we said "yes" to marriage, we happily volunteered to be stuck together forever. We've both pledged to always be a source of strength and support for our spouse. There's no space and no desire in our hearts to see another person the way we see our spouse. When you are together forever, you can either choose to suffer or to be happy. I'm pretty sure we chose to be happy.
3. Equal misery
In our marriage, there are times when we're "equally miserable". There are moments in life where it just sucks for both of you. Share the misery. Sometimes there's a day where only one of us can sleep in. Both of us want that extra hour of sleep, but either I get to sleep in, or my husband does. In these moments we choose to be "equally miserable". We wake up together and no one gets to sleep in. Sometimes we take turns, but when we both want the same thing and only one person can have it, we choose to be "equally miserable" together.
4. We share the remote
Whoa. I know this is a novel concept, but it's not superglued to his hand, so we share. We pick our TV shows together and we watch them together. When we watch the same things, sharing the remote comes naturally. Guys, what's the best way to get your wives to watch your sports games? Fill them in on who the players are. Women tend to respond to people rather than statistics. If we know the star player bought his mom a house or buys toys for orphans at Christmas time, we will want to see him succeed.
5. No one is a mind reader
We don't drop hints. I used to drop hints left and right and was frustrated when I didn't get my way or what I wanted. Newsflash: Our spouses don't always understand our hints. Just tell them what you want (cue in the Spice Girls: "what you really, really want") and you'll both understand each other.
6. We talk to each other
We tell each other our dreams, hopes, worries, and aspirations. We relive memories and we create new ones. We talk about our childhoods and our future together. And we listen to all of it. Sometimes it's a two minute conversation and sometimes things go on for hours. We put down and put away distractions and engage in these moment together.
7. We pray together
Some of the sweetest words I have ever heard were in the prayers of my husband. There's something wonderful about hearing him express a sincere desire for me to have a good day, to be safe, to have added strength in my trials. I love hearing him pray to be the companion I need him to be. When we grow closer to God, we grow closer to each other.
8. We tag-team our trials
When comparing marriage to a boxing match, we don't see ourselves as opposite opponents in the ring. We tag-team our trials and always stay in the same corner. Sometimes he's the fighter and I'm cheering him on, and sometimes I'm the fighter and he's the support. It doesn't do any good to fight each other while struggling through our own difficulties. Tag team it and lean on each other to get through your problems.
9. Trust and honesty
We don't have to be completely transparent about every detail of our lives, but if we feel the need to hide something, then that could signal a problem. Why would I need to hide anything from my BFF? Our emails, passwords, and accounts are accessible to both of us. We talk about things openly, and can look up information if we need to.
Sex? Yes, but that's not the only factor in marital intimacy. The best part of my day is when my hubby and I are laying in bed together; we say our good nights and our I love you's, and I face him. I close my eyes and know in my heart that this is exactly where I want to be. I'm happy here, and I'm loved. Then, right before we fall asleep, he finds my hand and holds it tight, or wraps a big, strong arm around my waist and pulls me in close, confirming my precious feelings with physical touch. That's intimacy. It's physical touch that affirms and makes secure a relationship built on friendship, trust, honesty, and love.
When done the right way with love and happiness, these seeminly ordinary things make an ordinary marriage awesome.