The idea of God being in your marriage is wonderful and invigorating. But only when you realize that God is a god of unconditional love. Nobody but a masochist could want a god in their marriage who is waiting around the corner hoping to catch you doing something wrong. You would be a bundle of nerves.
Really, who is holy enough to live up to standards of a judgmental God?
So I want you to think of God in a way that is exclusively beneficial, who does not have a "side" that will punish you when you make a mistake. Think of God as a loving parent, who would do anything He could to make you happy. Not a shallow happy based on possessions, getting your way, or even gaining worldly security. Because all worldly happiness is fleeting.
Happiness you get from feeling love, on the other hand, knows no boundaries and is intoxicating.
God has another name
So let's use God's other name for these purposes. Let's use the name that exposes His nature in terms other than "intellectual." Let's use Love, as His name.
Because there is no question that God is love. And, when you understand love, you understand that Love is God.
I'm not referring to the young lady type of "Oh, I love that dress on you, it's sooo cute," love. I'm talking about true love that is from the heart, the soul. True love is the source of all happiness. It is the only thing that is ever fulfilling and satisfying. It is limitless and indefinable; it is God.
Here are three simple ways to bring Love (God) into your marriage. These three ways are absolutely effective and reliable. So they come with some "warnings" of sorts.
- Don't be afraid of "making a fool of yourself." These methods can only work when you use them, and they are uncommon in this world that is ruled by fear. So you have to be a little brave in the beginning...OK?
- Don't look for, and especially don't "expect," outer reactions that will justify your efforts. Your spouse is not perfect. They will not necessarily be able to respond in kind. Do this for the internal responses - those will come, for sure!
- Don't share this with others, outside of your husband or wife. People are afraid of good things that they are not familiar with. So they will undermine your confidence and efforts.
But these three things are scientifically correct. They have to work, as surely as wind bends the grass. So treasure these methods and make them habitual. Unfortunately, your other habits will not help you. It will take sincerity and, above all, determination. The good news is that they work - period.
3 simple ways to bring God into your marriage
- Say "I love you" in a "new" way, at least three times a day. The new way I am talking about is like this. Imagine a door on your heart. And when you say "I love you," the door opens wide, and liquid love pours out of your heart into and around your spouse. The love is God... and God is love.
- STOP any, and all, negative thoughts about your spouse - no matter how big, or small. No excuses, and no deviations from this effort. The absence of negativity in a sincere marriage is love - your souls. So stopping the mind from its wreak less meandering into useless negativity will allow the love to flourish. The love is God... and God is love.
I know I said three simple ways, but I didn't say three easy ways. This one is simple and gets easier. But learning to control the mind is a worthy science all by itself. The Marriage Foundation spends a lot of time teaching mind control. Without it, success is only a dream that will never come true.
Do something special for your husband or wife at least once a day strictly for the sake of pleasing them; and without any desire to get something in return. Sometimes it is better to do the something special without them knowing about your effort or desire. That way you will hear your mind complaining, and bring it back under control. An act of love is selfless and humble. We never know how much God is doing for us in the background. When you do something for you spouse, they are not aware of you are acting on God's behalf. The acts of love are God... and God is love.