When writing this title I felt like it was a little bit of an oxymoron. Women want to have confidence for themselves, not for other people. But at the same time, we want to have better relationships and we know that a better relationship will happen when we have confidence in ourselves. So hence the title.
So who are you really trying to gain confidence for?
I hope you are reading this because you want to gain confidence so you can have a better life. Your relationships with your family, friends and love will improve as you gain confidence, but I hope you are doing it for yourself and not for them (But once you gain confidence you will see that it is for you, so it's a win-win even if you start trying to gain confidence for someone else's sake).
Why is confidence so hard?
Confidence can be a tricky thing. We sometimes see people who are cocky and full of themselves and we mistake this as confidence. We don't want to be rude or presumptuous so we try to downplay who we are and what we think. We lose confidence in ourselves because we don't want to be "overconfident."
The other tricky thing about confidence is the mindset of self-doubt is easier to keep than a confident mindset. As woman we tear down ourselves and focus on our faults and flaws instead of what we've accomplished and who we are becoming.
1. Look in a mirror and see the good.
We often look in the mirror and wish we could change something. Instead of seeing the flaws, look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful. Focus on the features you like about yourself and repeat that you are beautiful. Then take a step back and look at yourself as a whole — tell yourself how smart, kind, funny and beautiful you are!
Find the good in the world, find the funny things and be proud of your laughter. I think sometimes we don't have confidence because we can't see the good in the world. Find something to laugh about every day and try to be positive about what is happening in your life.
3. Know your support system.
It's important that you know you are loved and know who cares about you. It could be your family, your friends, your coworkers, your favorite server, your boyfriend, your husband, your neighbor or your children. Remember that you are loved. Remember that there are people who want you to succeed.
In addition to the people you know, know that strangers also want you to succeed — people would rather see others rise to the top than fail. There is a lot of shaming on the internet, but when you talk to people face to face, they really want others to be happy and successful.
Take time in your day to pause. I think one of the reasons I feel my confidence slipping is when I am running around like a chicken without a head. I don't know what I'm going to do and I don't know what I want to do; ultimately, I feel like I've lost my direction.
Take time to meditate. Get your thoughts in order about what you want to accomplish and who you want to be. This is a great time to make daily goals, weekly goals or even goals for the year. Pray for help and ask for direction.
As you meditate, remember where you came from. Remember what you had to triumph from, when you have succeeded in the past and how hard you have worked. Breathe and work through your problems.
Know you are amazing! Though I haven't met you, I am cheering for you! Confidence is beautiful, and you can find your inner confidence by following these simple steps and being proud of the woman you are.