When you first got married, all you could think about was the future. The idea of sharing everything with that special someone and spending each evening with them was just so exciting that you didn't even think of the setbacks or the struggles that were on their way.
As of today, you find it hard to get excited when your husband asks to watch a movie with him... again. You don't think it is cute anymore when he cooks you dinner and the kitchen looks like 10 children had a good old fashion food fight when he's done. Your patience seems to have diminished and you have developed the temper you promised yourself you would never get.
The companionship you once felt was romantic and fun is now messy and exhausting.
Why is this happening?
Without knowing you personally or every issue you and your spouse are facing, let's see if one of these 5 telltale signs is what is tearing the love apart.
1. You overlooked all the red flags
Just like how it is dangerous to drive your car into a fiery building, overlooking the red flags in your relationship can leave you with similar (and possibly more permanent) burns and scars in your heart.
The signs are serious and should be faced head on, especially if they can be fixed.
We all have flaws, but when red flags surface you can tell the difference. They are things like sexual addiction, rage, jealousy, other additions and large issues with money. These are topics that have destroyed marriages and families around the globe. If these things have arisen, you should be concerned and seek help immediately.
2. You literally avoid everyone
We get it; you are two peas in a pod. But spending all of your time together and not letting room for friends, family, or if you are religious, God, is one of the worst things you can do for one another.
I know that saying quality time is dangerous sounds absurd and completely against anything you have ever heard, which is why I am not saying that.
It's not quality, but quantity that can cause tension to build resulting in arguments that are easily avoidable.
Couples need the emotional support from their community. They need time away from their spouse to bond with their other family members, friends and colleagues.
Even spending time with your spouse and his or her family can be great because it shows how they are in a different scenario. Learning about your companion is something that should never end.
3. You've stopped trying to impress each other
You can become too comfortable with your spouse. Being yourself and letting him see you without make-up, in sweat pants, or sleeping the day away is healthy and completely fine, but you also shouldn't stop trying to impress him. Go out on dates and remember what it feels like to flirt and tease each other.
Love is not about our bodies, and it shouldn't be the only thing we care about. But enhancing yourself physically, emotionally and mentally to impress each other is a way to keep the heat you have alive.
4. You avoid conflict
Conflict is healthy and normal. It allows couples to see their differences and work through their feelings together. If you avoid the tension that is built up, you will not learn how to appropriately deal with this type of communication soon enough to heal through the hard things on its way.
Trust is not only built, but also maintained and even strengthened through settling disagreements as a team.
5. You claim you don't need counseling
Many couples claim that they do not see the value in pre-marital counseling. If these couples are able to work out their issues before the big day, than they may not necessarily need it. But why not get additional advice as to how to make sure your marriage is everything you dreamed of?
Neglecting advice or help from any kind may not seem so bad at first, but someone who is married or has studied marriage for years will know more than you and understands what will make your marriage succeed, I guarantee it.
Marriage is not a walk in the park. It should not be something you rush into at all. Building the love takes time. Maintaining the trust takes even longer. Don't become a cripple and face your challenges together; you were not meant to go through it alone.