In most cases, a woman wants to look attractive to men in hopes that she will find the one guy who will love and cherish her - and she him. If you are in this category and can't seem to get the job done, you're not alone. You may be thinking you're just not pretty enough. If that's the case, then it will surprise you to read this comment made by a Miss America contestant when she was asked, "How do you deal with all the guys who want to take you out?" She replied. "I haven't had a guy ask me on a date for ages. And I don't know why. I would love to go out."
Being attractive to men is much more than having a pretty face. Apparently, men are looking for more. To test this theory, we did a quick survey, online and in personal interviews, asking men what they consider attractive in women. Here are the six top characteristics that were mentioned - one way or another - by nearly all who were surveyed. These traits are what respondents found attractive in women:
She knows who she is. She doesn't need anyone else to define her. She's content to be herself. She has values and standards and isn't afraid to stick by them. She's not driven by every wind and wave of popular culture. She's grounded in knowing what she stands for and doesn't apologize for it to anyone. She has a strong faith in God. She's not arrogant about it, just quietly remains true to her beliefs and allows others to do the same. She is more concerned about others, including her boyfriend, than herself. One man, describing the woman he married, said, "Her moral 'backbone' and solid values were a hit with me." Being confident in who you are and having your values in place can free you up to care about others.
2. Adventuresome and fun
She's game for an adventure which makes her fun to be with. She isn't afraid to try new things, go new places and eat new foods. She doesn't hesitate to learn new things that we both find challenging and interesting. For example, a pre-med student said of his fiancé, "She was even willing to board a hot air balloon without knowing I was going to propose to her in midair." (Click here to see this romantic event.) Yes, men enjoy being with women who are willing to try new adventures.
3. Feminine and pretty
She's not obsessed over her looks. She fixes herself up to look nice and is satisfied. When I'm with her I feel like a real man. She doesn't have a need to be masculine, though she is strong and extremely capable. Her femininity complements my masculinity. She can look adorable in five-inch heels one minute and equally charming in jogging shoes the next. She can wear a dress with a swirly skirt as comfortably as she wears everyday jeans. She's not inclined to use gutter talk. She knows how to smile and uses it often. She simply knows how to be a lady.
She has prepared herself intellectually - educated but not boastful about it. When we can talk freely about what's going on in the world, with both of us being equally involved in the conversation, that's a very good thing. It's not that she has to know about everything; it's that she wants to learn and finds learning rewarding. That's attractive.
5. Approachable and friendly
She gives me a glance when she sees me staring at her, encouraging me with a slight flirtatious look. One man who fell hook-line-and-sinker said, "Her down-to-earth personality made it impossible for me to resist." Another husband said, "She laughed at my jokes. She thought I was hilarious, and that stroked my ego. It made me want to be with her." Maybe our Miss America contestant - mentioned earlier - made guys feel that she was unapproachable - too good for them. Nobody wants to be rejected, so guys generally won't risk it. Men need to feel invited by your welcoming look and gestures. In other words, being friendly is attractive to guys.
6. Wants to be a mother
She says it by the way she interacts with children. She makes it clear that she's looking forward to having kids of her own. She actually says the words, "I want to be a mother." Several men stated that this quality was important to them because they wanted to be fathers someday. A man can't have a family without a wife who shares that same desire, so he finds this an attractive trait.
As evidenced in these comments, all is enhanced by how a guy feels about himself when he's with you. When you help him feel good about himself, he cannot help but be attracted to you. As you read what men are looking for in women, pick one quality that you could improve upon and start working on it. Step by step, you can become the attractive woman you've always wanted to be.
See Gary and Joy Lundberg's new .99 e-book "Wake-Up Call: What Every Husband Needs to Know" on amazon.com.