If you’re looking for love, you can attest that dating can feel overwhelming, stressful, and exhausting. Finding the one you want to spend the rest of your life with can be daunting, so when someone appears interested, you might blindly cling to their admiration. The lust can create a fog and make it challenging for you to identify when a person is actually toxic.
According to WebMD, a toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life. Many times, people who are toxic are dealing with their own stresses and traumas. Toxic people look like everyone else, talk like everyone else, and have friends and family just like everyone else. The difference between everyone else and toxic people are their individual qualities. The majority of toxic people are master manipulators, skilled liars, and great actors who are professionals at hiding things.
Dating a toxic person can create problems within your future relationships and friendships – depending on the person’s level of toxicity and the length of time you date them. Recognizing their toxic qualities early on can prevent a whirlwind of heartache and damage to you as an individual.
Here are the top seven signs that indicate you are dating someone toxic.
1. Super Judgmental
Usually, when an individual constantly castes judgment on others, it is a direct reflection of the insecurities that they have with themselves. The negative energy that comes from a partner who consistently judges others is toxic and could cause you to feel pessimistic and unfavorable.
2. Obsessively Needy
Does your partner place huge strains on your time and energy? Does your partner always need you to be their positive energy or cheer them up? We all have bad days, but a relationship is unhealthy and one-sided if a sole individual is responsible for the couple’s happiness and positivity. A couple cannot have a healthy relationship if one person is emotionally drained.
Remember, a relationship is a balancing act, and each partner brings something to the table. An obsessively needy person is toxic and will prevent their partner from reaching their potential (inside and outside of the relationship).
3. Consistent Denial
If your partner is a denialist, they could be toxic. A denialist refuses to take responsibility and/or apologize for their actions. The person can exemplify toxic behavior when they blame others for their hardships and struggles. A toxic individual never admits to anyone (themselves included) that they were wrong, that they could have approached a situation differently, or expressed a different reaction.
Moreover, a denialist (and toxic individual) never apologizes. Not issuing an apology is another way the toxic person avoids dealing with their own issues.
4. Super Controlling
You should never have to explain your whereabouts in great detail. Yes, it is a courteous gesture to share your plans with your partner; however, if your partner requires a detailed itinerary of your every movement, there is a serious problem. In many cases, when an individual tries to control their partner it is being, they are most likely hiding something.
One of the most harmful things about manipulation is that oftentimes the person being manipulated doesn’t realize what is happening. Unfortunately, in a lot of cases, the victim doesn’t recognize the manipulation until it is too late. Healthy people will encourage and empower you to be the best version of yourself. Manipulators tell people that they know what is best and tend to belittle others. A toxic partner will blame you for everything, keep you isolated, and make you feel like you must walk on eggshells all the time.
6. Constantly Having to Prove Yourself
A toxic person will regularly create situations where you are forced to chose between them and something else. It could be as small as saying, “You’ll skip lunch with your friends if you really love me.” Or as monumental as voicing, “Your family doesn’t like me, so you should stop interacting with them.” On the contrary, the toxic person is always allowed to do whatever they want.
7. Mean Words or Underlying Tones
Does your partner consistently use mean rhetoric when they talk to you? Or does your partner use an underlying tone to make you feel bad about yourself? Remember that old saying when we were kids? Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me. That saying is 100 percent false! Words do hurt – you just can’t always see the damage.
At times, emotional scars are harder to heal because the victim denies their existence since they are not visible. Words are powerful – they can lift you up and tear you down.
Getting a toxic person out of your life is all about setting clear and healthy boundaries. It will not be easy, but change is never comfortable. The best way to remove a toxic person from your life is to implement a no-contact policy. There will be a number of challenges once you move forward without contact, but you’ll be on the path to a healthier and happier life.