Ladies, if you struggle or find yourself wondering what your man needs from you, we have a list to help you. It’s important to know that these things are not listed in order of priority and will probably change throughout the years. However, the majority of men all want the same things because it helps them feel worthy and meaningful.
As shocking as it may seem, men are actually not from Mars. A lot of the things they want from their woman are the same things women want from their man.
Respect means a lot to men. Not only are men struggling to live up to high expectations that society places on them, they are constantly in a comparison battle. Now respect doesn’t mean being submissive to a man and allowing him to be the definitive yes or no. Respect means not comparing your man to other men. (I.e. Your best friend’s husband, your father, your neighbor, or co-worker.) Constant comparison can cause a man to feel inferior or inadequate.
As stereotypical as this may sound, most men identify their self-worth (and a great deal of their identity) with their job. It’s important for a man to feel respected by his partner. This means when your man comes home from a rough day, do not downplay his emotions or take actions too personally. Encourage your partner to share his feelings about the day and ask him if/how you can help.
Men Are Not Stupid
Study after study has proven that women mature faster than men. If your partner doesn’t know something or makes a reference, don’t assume that he’s being funny. Treat your partner with kindness and understanding. Men are wired differently than women. Your partner wants to have a fulfilling relationship, too. However, men tend to not be as perceptive as women. Therefore, they may need a little more guidance. A man’s self confidence can be damaged if he is constantly laughed at. Talk to your partner and make sure you are not making any assumptions when it comes to their feelings.
Success and Wealth
Society has placed an unfair association with success and men. Our culture tells our men that they must be successful and wealthy. But success is subjective. One person’s idea of success can be totally different than someone else. It’s important to understand this idea and not allow this dynamic to play out. Men feel a lot of pressure to provide financially for their families and it can weigh heavily on their mental health – especially if monies are tight and work is questionable.
Ladies reassure your partner that he is enough and discuss your priorities as a couple. Don’t assume that he knows how you feel or your opinion on topics pertaining to success and wealth. Voice your feelings and remind your partner how awesome they are.
Think Things Through
According to Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn’s 2003 National Study of Men, 70 percent of men surveyed said that they prefer to take time to internally process what they’re going through before talking about everything. When it comes to conflict, only 30% of men said they’re comfortable talking through things before they have had time to think it over. Oftentimes, women perceive the silence as a lack of communication or disrespectful.
Women, your partner time to process their feelings and the situation at hand. It’s okay to ask questions and discuss the situation, but you should restrain yourself from getting overly upset about their lack of initial feedback. Try to give your man some space and allow him ample time to think through everything.
Men Are Insecure
At work, at home, or in their role as a husband, men feel insecure. Women can help by providing their partner with daily affirmations. When men receive regular and genuine affirmation from their wives, they become more secure and confident in all areas of their life. Ladies be authentic and remind your partner about their strengths. Reassure your partner about the many ways they make your life better.
Men Appreciate Their Woman’s Appearance
It’s no secret that men are visual beings. This is not to say that a man will cheat on his partner because he meets an attractive woman. What this does mean is men appreciate the effort their partner puts into her appearance. I think its safe to say that women react with the same feelings. I know that I appreciate when my husband puts in additional effort to look nice for date night or a lunch date.
Now this doesn’t mean women need to get dolled up and wear something fancy. What this does mean is women should take pride in their appearance and understand that their husband loves them. Of course, there will be exhausting seasons, but that’s not an excuse to give it all up. If your partner likes when you wear a certain color or your hair done a certain way, put in the additional time and look nice for your partner.
They Are a Priority
Men want to feel like they are a priority. Whether its work, kids or maintaining a household, men do not want to feel like a roommate. Make time for your partner by setting aside time for each other every day. It doesn’t have to be fancy or long, but it should be quality time where you make your relationship (and the man in your life) a priority. Women expect their husband to “see” them outside of their daily duties – and men want the same. It’s not rocket science.
Between our culture’s expectations and the daily grind, we face, it’s relatively easy to lose sight of our partner’s feelings. Despite the vast differences, men generally want the same things women do. Make it a point to talk with your partner and ask him how you can be a better partner to his needs. Having an open line of communication will help ease emotions and filter any misunderstandings. It’s important to invest in each other and be willing to create a healthier relationship.