"What are you thinking about right now, honey?"

"Uh, I don't know " nothing."

Some days it's hard enough to gauge what your husband is thinking when you're with him. At least it's probably just one thing instead of a bunch at once, science tells us: Studies have shown it's likely men's brains are "hard-wired" for focusing on one thing at a time, whereas women's brains are designed to multitask, the Wall Street Journal reported.

So it's even harder to guess what your man is thinking about when you're apart. But some men have opened up to offer some ideas on what they think when they're away from you.

How was her day?

This goes for men whose wives are at work or at home taking care of the little ones. They do wonder if your working day is going just as badly as theirs (or as well, let's hope), or if the baby has been screaming nonstop or whether the kids have been fighting or playing with each other. Of course, they want the best for you so you can be happy; but there's also that part of them that hopes for the best so you're in a good mood when they walk through the door.

How can I surprise her?

Yes, men really do want to find ways to do a little something (or sometimes even a big something) special for you that you won't expect. Gifts are great (like a pretty scarf or an indulgent spa-like bath robe), or little love notes, or a night away for just the two of you. The challenge for husbands is to find a way to plan and carry out their surprise without their wives' super-senses sniffing it out beforehand.


Some husbands love to play golf or engage in a good pickup game of basketball with their buddies. So of course, while they're away from their wives they're sometimes focused (remember that science on men's brains?) on just how to get that little ball into the hole in the ground or how to shoot a bigger ball into a hoop, all while doing a little trash-talking. And while they're not playing, they're watching the pros play, or talking about the pros, or managing their fantasy league.

How do I stay on her good side?

Several men in an informal poll admitted to thinking about what they could do to "get out of trouble" or keep from having their wives get mad at them. These could be deep and conscientious thoughts about weaknesses they could improve on, or, yes, weary and frustrated thoughts about how to stop being nagged.

I wish she could be with me to see/do this

Marriage is about sharing: sharing a life, sharing a family, sharing experiences. When spouses are apart, sharing an experience is reduced to having to share descriptions of the experience itself and the ideas and feelings it induced. That can be fun and a way to bond, but just being together to enjoy it firsthand is what any spouse wants when the other isn't there. If the husband travels for work, for instance, he may get to do some tourist activities or eat at a great restaurant, and think that it's not nearly as fun to do those things alone as it would be with his wife.

What can I eat?

Whether it's because you frown on him eating burgers or pizza too much because you worry about his health, or whether you regularly cook delicious meals that no one else can replicate, he's wondering what he can eat while he's out of town or while you're away visiting family or having fun with the gals. Maybe he'll go to that Japanese restaurant you don't like to get his fix of tempura and sushi, or he'll just cook up some Spam and rice at home for himself.

I miss her (and the kids)

Yep, he loves you. And it just feels good, right, to be with you. So when you're apart, he's ready to be back together. Same goes for your children. One husband said he even sleeps on the far edge of his bed when he's on business trips and is surprised not to wake up with little feet kicking him in the back. It's not maximum comfort, but it's home, and that's where he wants to be: waking up surrounded by those he loves. (Just for fun, try some soft and luxurious bamboo sheets and see his pleased reaction when he slips into bed the first night home.)

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