Learning about sex is a process. You start learning when you're pretty young, but only the basics. Then, depending on how your parents talked about the touchy subject, what knowledge your friends shared with you or your own experiences later in life, you probably got a good idea about what 'sex' means.
However, many women still have questions about intimacy, and that's totally normal. Here are eight expert answers to questions you might be wondering:
1. Why does intimacy feel good for my partner, but not for me?
According to the Women's Centre blog, men and women can reach their peak at different times, and it often happens faster for the male. Be patient and know that you'll get there. Talk through the way you're feeling to help your spouse help you.
2. Why does it hurt?
For some women, intimacy can be painful - which is never fun. It should be a way for you and your spouse to connect on a more intimate level, but it's hard to do that when you're in pain. There are a few reasons why this happens, and according to gynecologist Octavia Cannon, physical and emotional problems can play into it.
She says that dryness and infections can cause a lot of pain, and she advises using a good lubricant. Pain can also occur if you're stressed, upset or just not in the mood. If the problem persists, talk to your gynecologist.
3. Why am I never in the mood for sex?
According to Sheryl Kingsberg, this is one of the most common sexual problems for women. When they don't have any physical or emotional problems that could be causing the low libido, they get nervous and have no idea how to fix it.
Kingsberg advises any woman struggling with this to talk to their doctor. She says, "Don't suffer in silence - we have many options to help you."
4. How can I be intimate with my spouse without actually having sex?
Sometimes you physically aren't able to have sex. When this happens, it's still important to stay intimate with you spouse. Healthy Women suggests making an effort to touch more, hold hands and act like you're a brand new couple. Keeping that physical contact will do amazing things for your relationship and help keep the excitement in your marriage.
5. Is it normal to have cramping after?
Cramping after intimacy is normal for many women, especially if the uterus has been disturbed. Nurse Lisa Stern says that cramping can happen because of the bladder or urinary tract. As always, it's important to visit your doctor if the cramping keeps happening so you can figure out exactly why it's happening and how to fix it.
6. How often do people usually have intimacy?
Dr. Laura saysthat studies show the average married American couple has sex one to two times per week. It varies depending on your life situation, but do whatever feels best for your relationship.
7. Is it normal to cry after?
Sex therapist Kimberly Resnick reassures that it's totally normal to cry after having sex. It's a very emotional experience, and she says, "Every woman experiences a sexual encounter through her own lens and attaches personal meaning and context to it." If these feelings prevent you from having sex or if they start to interfere with your life, however, make sure to talk to your doctor or a sex therapist.
8. Am I normal?
Sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman answers this question by saying, "Yes, of course, you're normal!" Every person has a different life when it comes to intimacy, and as long as no one is getting hurt and you're safe and comfortable, you're in a great place.
If you have questions about your sexual health, it's so important to talk to your doctor about it. Don't be embarrassed, because you deserve answers. When you better know what's going on with your body and mind, you'll be able to have a better intimate life with your husband.
