Singles searching for the love of their life are often looking in the wrong place. They get so caught up in their own heads that they fail to see opportunities right in front of them. They become engrossed with the desire to get to the wedding day as fast as possible, rather than thinking about the critical journey that it takes to arrive at the altar. When you focus only on the end result in a limited manner, you end up ignoring the signs and assistance the universe has given you to reach your goal.

Here are some signs that you are looking for love in the wrong places, and tips on how you can change your behavior so that your heart is open to the love you truly deserve.

You are always getting ghosted.

You might be picking up the wrong type of people if you are regularly getting ghosted. You thought things were going great and that the person really liked you. You had hope you were really going somewhere with this new relationship. Next thing you know, though, they have stopped taking your calls or returning your text.

It’s possible you have gotten yourself stuck in a string of one-night stand type relationships. You seem to never lack for companionship in the bedroom, however when it comes to true intimacy you find yourself completely lacking. One night stands are classic for ghosting behavior. Random hook ups from a bar or dating app are not likely to lead to long lasting relationships. You should be clear about your intentions from the beginning so that there is no confusion about what each of you is looking for.

You have a lot of failed relationships.

You can get into a relationship without any issue; however they are typically short lived and never seem to work out. You enter the relationship with high hopes, always believing this is “the one” right off of the bat. Despite how desperate you are for the relationship to work, you notice something always seems off and things go wrong. You try to fix the other person so they can be what you want, or you transform yourself into someone you are not to try and be who they desire. This type of love will never last.

You find yourself in relationship after relationship where there seems to be nonstop drama, too. The drama may be due to you picking the wrong one, trying to force what isn’t meant to be, or just sabotaging the relationship. Either way, the relationships always seems to be emotional rollercoasters. You are left feeling disappointed and broken yet again. This is a sign that you are not comfortable and confident with yourself, and that you actually have no idea how to be happy as a single person.

You never allow yourself to enjoy being single.

Are you the person that hates being single. You believe that being with someone is better than being alone, which doesn’t allow you to grow as a person. Instead of using your freedom to have fun with friends, recharge, and figure out what you really want from a partner and in a relationship, you spend the whole time desperately trying to find another partner and relationship. As the saying goes, “if you are unhappy single, you will be unhappy in a relationship”. Happiness comes from within, and a partner or relationship should add to it, not be the sole reason for it. We can only find true love with someone else once we find love within ourselves first. The person you date should be good for you, not someone you are settling for because you don’t think you can do better.

At the end of the day, love is more than just romantic relationships. Love is your family, friends, going out in nature, your pets, charity, music, or doing the things that make you happy. Love is a positive contribution to the world that makes you feel good, too. You should be celebrating the blessings you already have in your life and be grateful for the love you do possess. Looking for love in the mirror and all around you is looking for love in all the right places.

You don’t go to places to meet people that are right for you.

There are places you can go that are prime for create real and meaningful connections with other people. For example, take a course or join a group activity where there will be men and women attending who have similar interests as you. That way you already have something in common. There are also many singles meet up groups in cities all across the nation that are great if you tend to be more shy, or even consider attending a speed dating event. Online website and dating apps can be great tools as well, but require you to focus on weeding out those who are not on them for the right reasons.

The worst things you can do are stay home and complain that you are not meeting anyone. Furthermore, blaming others and thinking that “all men/women are the same” will only put you on the track to failure. There are some wonderful people who are just as ready as you are to be in a loving relationship. The exact path to love will never be known to you until you someday look back to connect the dots once you’ve found the one. All you can do is hold the clear idea of what you want with a firm expectation that you can receive it. Then, look for opportunities that will lead you to your goal instead of just looking for the goal.