When I started researching this topic, I thought men were more likely to be unfaithful, but I quickly realized that isn't the case. With such an unfortunate problem in marriages, what causes some people to cheat and be unfaithful in the first place?

The apparent reason

If women and men are both unfaithful, what motivates them? When the truth comes out in a confrontation or a therapy session, there are some surprising trends. Men who have been unfaithful usually allege their wives are indifferent, not affectionate enough or are neglecting their appearance.

Women exhibit very similar reasons: they feel undervalued and feel like they are treated with indifference. Sometimes are cases of wanting revenge to make up for the fact that their husband cheated on them is admitted.

Whatever the reason, these aren't the primary things to be concerned about. The excuses we give are merely stereotypical justification to deal with the guilt of the infidelity.

The real reason

Strange as it sounds, all the reasons we give ourselves stem from a more important and influential cause: Our culture and our common values. Today, society is focused on self-gratification at the expense of everything else. Even the most important relationships like your partner and family are put to the wayside to make sure you, the individual, is happy.

This sense of entitled justification needs to stop. Just because you think you are entitled to be happy and have an affair - it's not the truth. Finding justification for your actions only helps you ignore the pain and consequences that come from betrayal. It is not fair to cheat on your spouse for revenge, comfort, curiosity or any other reason.

There are severe consequences for your actions. You might pay the price of losing your marriage and family now or later, but the pain will come.

If you are even considering being unfaithful, consider these points. Remember, infidelity starts in the mind long before the bedroom.

Ask yourself why you'll be unfaithful to your partner

That sort of happiness is fleeting. Don't justify your unfaithfulness with any sort of excuse. There are no valid reasons for cheating on your spouse. Be honest with yourself and don't rationalize reasons to commit this act.

Think about your commitments

Don't be another statistic about infidelity. If you are dating, commit to be faithful. If you are married, commit to be faithful. While marriage has more legal, moral and religious commitments tied to it, being faithful in any type of relationship is the higher road. Think about your family, your children, your spouse, and your friends; commit to not betray their love, support and trust.

Seek professional and spiritual help

There is no shame in seeking help to overcome the temptation. Go to marriage and family therapy to talk with a professional. Be open and honest with your spouse. Be honest with your religious leader. Know that your good intentions are an echo of God's comfort to help you overcome adversity.

You can overcome the temptation. Understanding that the risk just isn't worth it, and knowing that you can go to others for help will be the way you can remain faithful to your partner.

This is a translation and adaptation of the original article "Conqueteando con la infidelidad? Primero lee esto". It has been republished here with permission.

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