Like all addictions, the problem with resentment is that it creates a dependency on feeling bitter towards your partner. You become tolerant to feeling angry towards someone you used to love. If you feel that resentment is clouding your chance to be happy with your spouse, do these three things:
Stop digging into the past
Stop spending time worry about what you partner did or didn't do. If you do, you will become weighed down with resentment and regret, leaving no room to love your spouse. Though it might not seem like it, there are things they have done to make you happy. When you leave the past in the past, you can focus on a future together.
Stop avoiding problems
Problems left unresolved sit and fester until they explode inside of you. If you are starting to feel frustrated about some chore left undone or a broken promise, set a time to talk to your spouse about your anger. Don't bury the problem. Realize that you may need some space alone before you can calmly handle the situation. It's been said that a husband and wife should 'never go to bed angry', but there are times where discussing the problem in the morning can avoid a more serious issue. Avoid letting problems go unsaid; they only fuel your resentment.
Obey the Golden Rule
It's something you've heard since you were young: Treat others how you would want to be treated. This Golden Rule applies always, even in marriage. When you find yourself assuming your spouse is going to let you down, remember the Golden Rule. Give your partner a chance to prove you wrong. When you don't consider that your spouse may be tired or stressed out, pause for a minute and give him the benefit of the doubt. Being more courteous, patient, and loving in your marriage will help push away feelings of resentment.
Don't let resentment take over the chance to fully love your spouse. There isn't room for resentment in a happy marriage; do your part to remove this poison, and look forward to a having a wonderful life together.
This is an adaptation and translation of ¿Tienes resentimiento hacia tu pareja?. It has been republished here with permission.