Published in Matrimonio by Francia Benson on August 30, 2013
Translated and adapted by Anders Peterson from the original article "Cรณmo compartir las responsabilidades en el matrimonio" by Francia Benson

Oftentimes, I have been asked the following question, "Who is the boss in your home?" In my opinion, there is a simple answer: Each spouse is a boss. The bottom line is that we should ask this question, "Is the couple's relationship based on power, authority or shared responsibility focused on providing direction to all members of the family?"

In order to be successful and stable, a couple must share an equal level of authority. Opinions and desires must be equally accounted for. Although it is not easy, I would like to discuss some ideas on how to share equal responsibility in the marriage. For example, nowadays, some couples discuss important matters in order to make serious decisions. They treat each other with respect, firmly believing that both of them have a common right to share their opinions and make decisions that affect the home.

The beauty of this is that having the same level of responsibility enables each spouse to feel valued, loved and respected. Both spouses are equally grounded, and they go hand in hand as they walk through the pathway of life. The following are some advantages of sharing the same responsibilities and authority in the home:

  • Both spouses can make decisions; therefore, both spouses share equal responsibility.

  • Both spouses feel appreciated.

  • Their communication is enhanced.

  • Love grows and deepens within the marriage as each spouse takes into consideration the opinions, desires and thoughts from each other.

  • Self-esteem within the couple also increases.

Both parents set a good example for their children as they share responsibilities.

  • Children see their parents talking instead of arguing when they need to make a decision

  • Parents can teach their daughters that their voice is important in a relationship.

  • It teaches boys to respect girls so that they can do the same in their marriage when they grow up.

If you would like to see this in your home, the following are some ideas that you could apply:

  • Having open and sincere conversations with each other allows a couple to communicate their opinions and thoughts.

  • When there seems to be a lack of understanding, it is a good idea to look for articles or books that address the topic on how to communicate your feelings.

  • Role-playing is a great way to practice how to put these ideas into perspective. For example, discuss whether to buy a puppy or not. Counsel together to discuss your decision and reflect on your choices.

  • Learning to yield is an excellent way to develop maturity as we share responsibilities. For instance, in a marriage we need to have the attitude of thinking "win-win" in order to decide what is best for the family.

Remember that when a man shares responsibilities with his wife, he is indeed demonstrating self-confidence and how much he loves his wife. Husbands and wives that do this demonstrate humility and maturity and this will strengthen their family.

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