Kristin Cavallari has spent much of her adult life in the public eye, from reality TV star to lifestyle entrepreneur and mom of three. Now, she’s opening up about the dating lessons she’s learned the hard way — and the personal rule she’s created to protect her heart moving forward.
During a recent episode of her podcast "Let’s Be Honest," Cavallari shared that one of her biggest relationship mistakes has been confusing infatuation with real love. “I have gotten confused by infatuation far too many times,” she admitted candidly. That realization led her to adopt a firm boundary: no declarations of love, no long-term plans, and no introductions to her children during the first six months of dating.
“I think they say infatuation is anywhere from three to six months, so I have taken this stance in the last few years that I am not allowed to say I love you to, make long-term plans with anyone, introduce them to my kids, like nothing for the first six months,” she explained. Cavallari added that when she does feel attracted to someone, it can be intense. “I am someone who gets very excited when I like someone because it is so rare that I am attracted to someone.”
Looking back, she recognizes how easily she’s been swept up in early-stage romance. She said she tends to get “fully consumed by” infatuation and has “said I love you to people I probably shouldn’t have” because she misread those feelings. For Cavallari, time is now the ultimate test of whether something deeper is truly forming. “Time will tell” if the strong spark at the beginning becomes lasting love, she said, noting, “Everyone that I ended up falling in love with I also was infatuated with in the beginning.”
Her reflections come after several high-profile relationships, including her marriage to former NFL quarterback Jay Cutler, with whom she shares three children: Camden, 13, Jaxon, 11, and Saylor, 10. After their divorce in 2020, Cavallari later dated TikTok creator Mark Estes, a relationship that drew public criticism because of their 13-year age gap. She brushed off the backlash at the time with humor on social media, but ultimately ended the relationship in September 2024 after seven months.
Opening up on her podcast shortly afterward, Cavallari said she knew the relationship wasn’t right for the long term. “I just know long-term it’s not right,” she shared. Reflecting on their age difference and life stages, she explained, “I just know long-term he needs to experience life. He’s young. I started to feel the age a little bit with life experience.” She added that the early twenties are formative: “Those are crucial years. Those are formative years. They’re when you find yourself, and he needs to be able to do that.”
Today, Cavallari says she’s only truly been in love a few times in her life — including her ex-husband and two earlier relationships — which has shaped her perspective on what distinguishes love from simply caring about someone. “I love, absolutely love all of my friends, but I don’t want to make out with them, right?” she joked. “Like, I think that’s the difference between just loving someone and being in love with someone… I think the difference is just that attraction piece.”
Her six-month rule may sound strict, but for Cavallari it’s less about withholding emotion and more about giving feelings time to settle into clarity. After years of moving fast and learning painful lessons, she’s choosing patience — trusting that real love, if it’s there, will still be there after the honeymoon phase fades.
