A huge lie being promoted by the pornography industry is that pornography is a harmless personal choice and those who oppose pornography are trying to push their personal values onto others. Here is the blunt truth about the dangers of pornography use - dangers that have nothing to do with a personal value system.

  • When a guy is exposed to pornography, relationships become strictly about sex- you, as a person, don't matter much.

  • Pornography portrays relationships where women are treated like objects, where they like to be degraded and are often harmed. It becomes increasingly difficult for a guy, who is viewing pornography, not to treat a girl friend or wife like this.

  • Compassion, empathy, being unselfish - these are things that don't happen when pornography is a part of your relationship. The guy's world is all about him and his wants - your needs and feelings don't matter than much.

  • Your boyfriend or husband will probably care more about sex and how your look than who you are and what you think. This will damage your self esteem and confidence.

  • Your boyfriend or husband is learning that violence and coercion are an acceptable part of a relationship. Are you comfortable with that?

  • Are you OK with your boyfriend or husband cheating on you? A guy may say that he he's faithful, but statistics show that when you view pornography, the idea of being faithful to your partner is no longer a part of your thinking. You start looking for ways to cheat in a relationship and get away with it.

It's likely that your relationship is clouded with deceit, drama-based, fear or lust based, and draining. Can you honestly say that you a better person, because of being in this relationship?

The two charts, below, were created by Dr. Jill C. Manning, a nationally recognized expert in the field of pornography addiction. The charts make it clear why pornography use and healthy relationships don't go together.

Healthy vs Pornography Sexuality

Dr. Jill C. Manning

Healthy Sexuality                                                                                                 










Anchored in reality

Fantasy based

Body is sacred

Body is an object, toy or weapon

Enhances well being

Decreases well being

Respectful and honorable


Involves loving someone

Involves using or harming someone

Spiritually meaningful

Spiritually deadening

Socially responsible and beneficial

Socially irresponsible & costly

Involves mutual consent and volition

Often involves violence and coercion

Associated with life and joy

Associated with crime, abuse, infidelity, addiction, prostitution and divorce

Healthy vs Toxic Relationships

Dr. Jill C. Manning

Healthy Relationships

Toxic Relationships

Rooted in honesty and truth

Clouded with deceit and lies

Mutual respect apparent

Disrespect demonstrated by one or both

Trust and safety are present

Distrust is present

Drama is limited and acute

Drama based

Feels energizing, hopeful, empowering and good

Feels draining, confusing, depressing or shameful

Growth promoting

Hinders or stagnates growth

Problems addressed openly and differences respected

Problem solving avoided and differences threatening

Increases sense of freedom

Increases sense of entrapment, control & manipulation

Appropriate boundaries exist and are respected

Boundaries are difficult to detect or are breached

Encourages self respect and selflessness

Breeds selfishness

Increases well being

Decreases well being

Love based

Fear or lust based

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