Men and women generally speak a different language - rumored to be from different planets and all. What is of value to a woman is often quite different from what is of worth to a man.

Women, you can assist your man by not making this a guessing game. It's not cheating to help your guy "discover" what works for you and what doesn't.

Here are a few things that might push a few good buttons:

Send her a kind note

When we think of notes we tend to think about a nicely written letter; of the "please excuse Justin from school because he has been (fill in the blank)" variety. But times have changed.

While a perfect card in lovely calligraphy is wonderful, a kind email or a text message saying "thank you for all that you do," is wonderful, as well. Technology has changed, but kind sentiments don't. Who wouldn't like to hear a kind word, regardless of the messenger or the mode of travel?

I just called to say I love you

Such a sweet song performed by Stevie Wonder. Call her from work, or call her work place. Call at random. Say what's in your heart.

"I was thinking about the dinner last night and how lucky I am that you cook better than I do." That's a start.

"I'm going to be off a bit early, and I'll jump in the shower and clean up and then let's do something even though it's only Thursday." Getting warmer.

Plan a romantic getaway

Ask someone to take the kids for a day or two and get out-of-town. See a musical or a musical event. If you are pretty secure in your relationship, try a surprise and pack a bag for her.

This might work even better: plan a place to go and leave out the "what to do." Relax and play it by ear. Bring some clean clothes, and some of the ones she has picked out for you on occasion. Women like a guy dressing for her - maybe not as much as we enjoy them dressing for us, but it's still a top 10.

Make it about her

Sometimes letting her sleep in while you take the kids will energize her like no other. A back rub or foot rub is heaven. Physical touch is a huge part of a relationship. It may lead to sex, but it also may lead to a slow and lovely time shared that is not overtly sexual in nature. Go with the flow.

Cook for her

Create a meal she loves. Find her recipe and go shopping for ingredients. I would make one recommendation because I tried this once: Follow the recipe. And don't make her do the dishes.


I know I know. You have all figured out exactly what she is going to say because you know her so well. That's all fine and good, but please stop doing that. Listen when she speaks. Try doing it without any television or distractions. Send the kids outside to play, turn off the cell phones and enjoy talking like you used to. Driving time is talk time for me and my wife, and we both love it.

Do something for her that she doesn't like to do

Does she hate to clean the bathroom or sort laundry? That's what you should do.

Do something for her that you don't like to do

It could be taking her to that tear fest/Julia Roberts movie she wants to see, or picking up your dirty clothes and tossing them in the hamper. You know what it is, so give it a shot. Don't make her clean up after you.

Dress up like you used to

Remember when you used to shave and shower before you picked her up? Dressing up shows respect. Women like respect. Show her she is important to you by making yourself respectable. Never underestimate deodorant and clean socks.

Tell her what you love about her

Tell her how kind she is, the nice things she says, the way she laughs. A little praise for the one we love goes a long way.

Know your lady

It could be that nothing written here applies to your relationship with your wife. Don't worry about it. Odds are you already know what you can do to show your wife how you feel. Use your gut instincts.

If worse comes to worse, ask her.

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