Imagine you are in a crowded shopping mall. There are people shouting into their cell phones and others arguing. There are some toddlers chasing each other around and elderly people tripping over them. The mall cop is chasing a shoplifter through the bustling corridors. There is music booming over the intercom system. You cannot hear yourself think. The truth is, you could leave at any time, but you choose to stay because it is your "normal." It is where you are most comfortable because the din drowns out your own chaos and helps you to escape.
Now, imagine that your dear friend is trying to get a vital message to you by standing at the other end of the mall and whispering it. There is no way you could possibly hear it. But it is a message that needs to come through. It is a message that could save your life and quiet the noise that has enveloped it.
Now you get a feeling that there is someone trying to reach you. There is some sense of urgency that you need to hear this vital message. But, how?
We all occasionally choose to lose ourselvesin bedlam to avoid facing things that are amiss in our own lives. This "checking out" can take many forms:
Watching inane or offensive reality shows or soap operas
Becoming involved in the drama of friends
Creating our own drama
Putting on the headphones and cranking the volume
Seeking relationships outside of our commitments
All of these can create commotion that drowns out the still, small voice of God in our lives. As the behaviors continue, the voice gets softer and softer until it is gone and once it's gone, we are without guidance and warning. This is a very dangerous place to be. The world becomes dark and we become full of doubt about things we once held dear.
So, how do you return?
Turn off the noise
Whatever your tune-out method is, turn it off. Find a quiet place. If you are a young mother, this is challenging, I know. But, try to find a quiet spot somewhere sometime.
Assume a position of humility
Bow your head, cross your arms, kneel, whatever it takes to put yourself in a submissive and receptive mindset. This may also be very hard to do, because, if you're like me, you have probably been thinking that everything is in order the way you have been living.
Close your eyes
Turn off the lights, close your eyes, and just be.
Repent for having not listened
This may be the hardest obstacle of all. It was for me. I kept thinking, why should I apologize for being a victim of circumstance. I finally caught on to the fact that it was my own stubbornness that put me out of touch and I had to repent of that.
Don't think about anything
Try to remove all of your own thoughts, doubts, fears and everything from your mind. Picture a blank slate and let the Spirit write upon it the things you need to hear and do.
Continue to be still
Once you have received a message, and it may take many attempts to actually get one, continue to be still and let your mind imagine solutions. Pray for confirmation of your thoughts.
Don't think about doing something sometime when things get less hectic. Don't imagine that someday things will begin to work out. Act on what you have received and take the next step.
This process is a first step to regaining your faith. It was so painful for me to go through this process. I felt that I had fallen through the cracks and was out of God's mind completely. I had to repent of that notion and claw and fight my way back. You can too.