Entering into a marriage is exciting. Marriages can be incredibly beneficial for life satisfaction, wellbeing, and happiness, but they are also full of challenges, and sustaining the relationship long-term is no easy task. Issues in marriages can crop up at any point, no matter if you have only been married for a year or twenty. The problems can either be overcome and strengthen your bond or push you farther apart. How you handle these issues is key.
Working through marital problems in a healthy way is never easy and requires hard work, dedication, and focus from both partners. But just because you have riffs does not mean you are headed to a divorce. There are many common problems that marriages face that couples can overcome every day.
Financial stress is one of the most common issues marriages in the modern-day face. During particularly challenging economic times, personal financial pressure can bleed over into marriage and unrelated conflicts. One partner may generally feel on edge and stressed all the time because money is always on their mind. Sharing bank accounts can be difficult if the couple has different views on how to spend and save money. Each month, couples should sit down and look at their budget and openly discuss future goals. Making compromises will be necessary here, but with a budget written down, there will be no additional surprises.
There are a few reasons why busy schedules can cause problems in a relationship. First, couples are likely to be more stressed day to day if they are always busy. Secondly, they will find themselves connecting less and less with their partner. This can lead to less teamwork since they are not communicating their needs as often. Couples can lessen the stress a busy schedule puts on their marriage by taking on fewer outside duties, carving out time to spend each week with one another, and clearly laying out household responsibilities at the beginning of each week.
Lousy Sex Life
As marriages move through the years, it gets easier for couples to get complacent and apathetic about intimacy. One or both partners do not put in the effort to end sexual dry spells, which can leave the other feeling rejected or disconnected. To get out of intimacy ruts, leading therapists recommend discussing the issues openly, showing affection outside of the bedroom, and going to sleep at the same time. It might get awkward at first, but with effort, this will fade.
End of the Honeymoon Phase
Most people go into a marriage with the idea that it will be all rainbows and butterflies. When the “fairy-tale” ending does not play out as planned, they tend to shut down. While a relationship can be magical, it is unrealistic to think that there will never be problems. Many people draw inspiration for a perfect marriage from movies or TV, but those place unrealistic expectations on the union. The relationship will never live up to the one they have created in their head, leaving their partner set up to fail.
Lack of Appreciation
When a couple first starts dating, they will go out of their way to show the other how much they care and appreciate them. As we grow older and get more comfortable in a relationship, that might start to fade. Instead of saying, “thanks for cleaning the kitchen,” a spouse might say, “cleaning the kitchen is all you got complete today?” This can cause considerable riffs in a relationship. Rather than looking at all the things a partner is not doing, a couple should focus on all the hard work they are putting in. Each couple should learn to show gratitude daily, even if it is just saying thank you.
Problems With Children
Bringing children into a marriage adds a whole host of new potential problems and stressors. While children are wonderful additions to a family, the caretaking of children requires more responsibility, a change of roles, and additional strain. It also lessens the time that partners can spend together. If a couple also has different opinions on how to raise a child, it can bring more issues into the mix. Even the strongest of bonds might have trouble after kids, but therapy is a great tool to get through it if communication is not enough. It is vital that couples always put their marriage as a top priority and never ignore their needs.
After the honeymoon phase ends, the marriage might feel dull or lackluster. This is typically a sign that partners are taking the marriage for granted or have gotten too comfortable in their routine. No one wants to put in the time it takes to make the marriage seem exciting. To get out of this type of rut, couples can shake up their routine with fun date nights, “just because” gifts, or other exciting activities. A couple should strive to make their partner feel those warm and fuzzy butterflies every day.
Any marriage is subject to marital problems, but these common issues are easy to get through with a bit of work, dedication, and love. Couples must decide that their marriage is worth fighting for if they want it to survive. They will see that the work they put in will bring shifts in the dynamic of the relationship, yielding positive results.