In the age of social media, it always looks like everyone in a relationship is happy, and things are going great. Social media alone creates this fairy tale reality of what relationships entail, so many people go into them thinking that things are supposed to always be good and when they aren't, what do they do? They run.
Because society has somewhat groomed us to think that relationships are supposed to be easy and straightforward, we are less likely to stay and work things out when problems arise. Relationships aren't going to always be sunshine and butterflies in your stomach. There will be some challenging moments you experience that will require you to reflect and ask yourself some tough questions. One of the most common questions that can come up in any relationship is, "Should I give my partner a second chance?"
This question is likely to come up after a break up has already happened, but the question is a sign that the relationship may not be over. If you have recently found yourself in the aftermath of a breakup and you're struggling to find an answer to this question, here are some times where you should consider giving your partner a second chance.
You both are committed to making it work.
Relationships aren't easy, and it takes work from both you and your partner for the relationship to function healthily. If you both are committed to working past your issues and acting on those commitments, then it's not a bad idea to give the relationship a second chance. Change doesn't happen overnight, but if you both can commit to changing your relationship's dynamic over time, you have a better chance of not running into the same issues in the future.
The mistake wasn't severe enough to end the relationship.
Take a moment to think about what happened. Is this the first time something like that has happened? Was the mistake something you could move on from with time? Ask yourself these questions, and if your partner has shown you that it won't happen again, you should think about giving them a second chance. We all make mistakes, especially in relationships, but you have to decide for yourself what mistakes you can and can't come back from.
They're honest with you.
Honest is a must in any relationship. If you and your partner can openly and honestly communicate with each other, your relationship is worth more than you may be giving it credit for. If your partner is honest with you about the situation, don't take it lightly. Honesty is a sign of respect, and when your partner can demonstrate that, it's worth the reconsideration.
Your partner is genuinely sorry.
It's easy to tell when someone is saying sorry to make you feel better versus being empathetic and genuinely sorry. If your partner is genuine with their apology, they are remorseful of the fact that they've hurt someone they love. Recognizing your faults and owning up to them is not an easy thing to do, so if that's what your partner is doing, they want to show you their willingness to make things right with you. If you still love and what to be with this person, they deserve a chance to show you that.
It's more than just love.
Love alone isn't enough to sustain a healthy relationship, and it can't be the only reason for you to stay in one. If love is the only thing keeping you with someone, then it's probably best to go your separate ways. However, if your relationship possesses other vital factors such as loyal, respect, and trust, then your relationship has a strong foundation, and it's safe to consider giving it another go around.
Your partner has learned their lesson.
It's one thing to be sorry, but it's another to be sorry and have learned from the mistake. Do you think your partner understands the repercussions of their actions? If you feel confident that they have learned from their mistake and are doing what is needed to make sure it doesn't happen again, it's okay to give them a second chance.
You are receiving enough rewards and fulfillment from the relationship to consider a second chance.
Have you taken to account all that you have been getting from the relationship? Aside from the issue that made you break up, were you being fulfilled in all the ways you needed to be fulfilled by your partner? Relationships can have their own set of problems, so it's important to decide for yourself how much you are willing to put up with and factor what you're getting out of the relationship. This doesn't mean you're a selfish person looking to take from someone, but an invested individual looking to make sure there is a return to their investment.
Your first priority when deciding whether to give a relationship a second chance should be what's in your best interest. You have to take care of yourself, which could mean forgiveness and salvaging the relationship or walking away from it for good. Relationships aren't easy and having to make that kind of decision may be tough to do, but you have to do what's right for you. Give yourself time to decide that, and don't let anyone, including your former partner, rush you into making any decisions. No one can tell you how you're supposed to move forward in a relationship. You have to determine that for yourself. Being clear about your boundaries in relationships will help you to decide when second chances are warranted if they are warranted at all, and there is nothing wrong with that.