He asked the question. You said I do. The wedding happened. Fast forward and now you’re no longer newlyweds. Add careers, household chores, children, obligatory events and celebrations, and finances. Life gets busy and it is easy to take things for granted. However, overlooking what really matters can wreak havoc on your life – one of those important things is your marriage.
Women are usually tasked with balancing the impossible. Even though you may have a super reliable and involved husband, not investing into the balance of your marriage can create relationship problems. The solution is to mutually commit to dating each other. Sounds silly, right? You’re probably wondering, when will I find the time to date my spouse?
Here’s the thing, according to recent studies a marriage has a 50/50 chance of making it. Divorce can be avoided if couples stay committed and continue to love their spouse. Before you married your husband, you dated and things were interesting – so much so, when he popped the question, you said yes! Therefore, dating your husband is a way couples can say ‘I do’ every day.
Before you break out your pen and paper to take notes, hang tight. We created a tangible list of ways you can keep dating your husband.
Commit to date nights (or dates during the day).
Don’t have a sitter? Don’t have a ton of extra money? Are you and your husband more comfortable at home? No problem!
All of those issues above are excuses. Date night doesn’t need to be elegant or outside the home. In fact, date night can be you, your husband and a movie. Or maybe date night is collaborating on a project together. Every couple is different, so every date night will vary. The key to date night is investing time together and bonding.
Clear off your calendars and dedicate a specific day and time to have fun together. Select an activity that you both will enjoy. If your doing something at home, create rules and set a precedence with your kids. While an interruption or two is bound to happen, if you have little ones, it is not the end of the world and doesn’t qualify as a fail.
Consider getting dressed up for each other. While this isn’t always necessary, putting effort into your appearance will be a nice surprise to your husband, and will convey that he is worth it. Treat this like a real date – you probably wouldn’t have dated your husband in sweatpants and a T-shirt.
Yes, sex is important and should be something you and your husband enjoy together. But intimacy isn’t just sex. Make a commitment to touching your husband in a nonsexual way. On a daily basis make an effort to give him a kiss, hold his band, give him a hug, or touch his forearm or shoulder when you’re sitting together. Small gestures can go a long way and will remind your husband that you’re still attracted to him. Also, establishing physical intimacy outside of sex will make sex better.
You like it when your husband throws you a nice compliment, right? Well, guess what, so does he! Share positive affirmations with your husband to serve as motivation and show him that you prioritize him and your relationship. Remind him that you think he is attractive and that you appreciate the things he does for you (and the family). Oftentimes, we assume that our spouse knows how we feel; however, that is normally not the case. Communication is the key to all relationships and will aid in creating a strong foundation that will last a lifetime.
Try something new.
Is there something on your couple’s bucket list? A cooking class, skydiving, reading a series… Whatever it may be, try something new together because it will give you a chance to lean on each other and bond.
Acts of kindness.
On a regular basis, carry out acts of kindness for your husband. If he has a favorite meal, cook it or order it. If he needs help with errands, consider lightening his to-do list and help him. Did his favorite author’s book release, consider borrowing it from the library or purchasing it. Get creative but do everything from your heart. Your husband will appreciate your efforts and it will reinforce his value.
Create a sacred place.
Have a space within your living space that is just for you and your spouse. It can even just be the bedroom. It may sound silly but a place that is dedicated to you and your husband will create a sense of privacy and peacefulness.
This tip goes hand in hand with acts of kindness. Surprises are a great way to spice things up and keep your marriage fresh. Whether it is tickets to a movie or an unplanned hike, invest in surprising each other with time together. Your husband will be thrilled that you went the extra mile to plan something special with him in mind.
Marriage shouldn’t get stale. While you will have challenging seasons and bad days, nurturing your relationship by dating each other will create a strong bond and foundation to build from. Remember you shouldn’t feel the need to check off everyone of these items, every day or every week. Though it is important to change your habits to incorporate these tips. Dating your spouse is a great way to keep your marriage healthy – physically and emotionally.