There is a real epidemic happening in marriages throughout the nation. After years and years of a loving marriage, great children, and beautiful memories, couples are finding themselves drifting away from each other. One or both partners feel they are no longer as in love as they once were. They fear they will never feel that way again.
Is it even possible to fall back in love? It absolutely is. With these tips, you and your spouse can start moving in the right direction. Your foundation will get stronger so that your love will last for decades to come.
Make a choice to fight for your marriage.
The first step in reigniting love in your marriage is by making a choice to do so. You must stop living in limbo, blaming your spouse for everything, and being complacent. Love is a verb. You must continuously choose to love your spouse each day, even though all the hardships. It is when you stop dedicating yourself to your marriage that things fall apart. Commit to your spouse all over again and promise them you will fight for your union.
Look back at the good times.
When we have gotten in a position where we only fight and argue with our spouse, we wonder how we ever loved them in the first place. Taking a trip down memory lane to see all the good times you had together will help spark your love again. You will be reminded that they are still the same person you could not wait to marry, and the qualities you loved so dearly are just as endearing as they were before. It will also put smiles on both of your faces.
Reevaluate your communication styles.
If you and your spouse can never get on the same page anymore, it might mean you have more significant communication issues going on. The chance of having a real connection when you both are fighting all the time is next to impossible. Usually, the quieter one partner gets, the louder the other one becomes. This turns into a vicious cycle of negative communication patterns. There needs to be a focus on making sure both voices are heard and respected. The person who is quiet needs to become more emotionally engaged in the relationship, and the person who is loud needs to get their message across in a softer way.
Stop playing the blame game.
When you have been unhappy for so long, it is hard not to become resentful towards your spouse. You might question why they have not picked up on the signs sooner or tried to do something about it. The truth, though, is that you are at fault too. They cannot read your mind, so poor communication on your end can also be to blame. Couples who want to work on their marriage will focus on the future, not about what happened in the past. They need to talk to each other openly and vulnerably but blame crushes that.
There is nothing worse than feeling ignored and unheard. Sadly, your spouse might also be struggling with these emotions. With today’s hectic society, it can be easy to put our relationships on the backburner. If you spend all your day rushing around, you will be too busy to notice your relationship falling apart. Talk to your spouse and make it a point for both of you to slow down a little. Put the effort in being more attentive with each other. This includes basic things like looking at each other in the eyes when speaking and not interrupting when one is talking. However, it makes all the difference.
Show appreciation for each other.
If you are struggling to feel like you are in love with each other, showing appreciation and gratitude for the marriage may feel hard to do. Dig deep within yourselves if you must. Choosing to see things with your partner as something to be thankful for, rather than something that stresses you, is an essential step towards healing your relationship. Do not allow yourself to feel like a victim all the time, and start seeing that your marriage is a partnership. When your partner pours your cup of coffee, does and extra chore around the house or the like it should be celebrated.
There is nothing fun and sexy about the hard work it takes to save a marriage. Cut yourself some slack and make sure you schedule a time to enjoy each other’s company, too. This could be as simple as one date a week, where you all do not talk about any relationship troubles. Dating was so much fun before you got married, so why did you ever stop it? Grab coffee together, see a movie, or take a long hike. It will give you all the space to only focus on one another and having fun.
It is not time to give up on your marriage just yet. Even if you feel like you are no longer in love, there are ways that you all can get back there. Each morning, tell yourself that your marriage is worth saving and commit to it. Before you know it, you will be back on track.