Many wives find themselves in the position of having to deal with their husband's anger when they don't want intimacy. It can be a difficult situation to navigate, but there are some things you can do to help defuse the situation and hopefully improve communication with your husband. First, try to understand where the anger is coming from. Is your husband's anger a result of his frustrations and feelings of inadequacy, or is it genuinely directed at you? If you can determine the root cause of the anger, it may be easier to find a way to address it.
If your husband's anger seems to be directed at you, try to have a calm conversation with him about why he's upset. It's important to remain calm and avoid getting defensive yourself. If possible, try to find out what specific things are making your husband angry and see if there are any ways you can change your behavior or approach to help improve the situation.
If your husband's anger is due to his own frustration and feelings of inadequacy, there may not be much you can do to change the situation. However, you can still try to have an open and honest conversation with him about how his anger is affecting you and your relationship. It's possible that simply being able to express your concerns and fears may help defuse the situation somewhat.
Whatever the cause of your husband's anger, it's important that you take steps to protect yourself from its negative effects. If his anger is causing you to feel scared or threatened, it's important to have a safety plan in place. This may involve having a safe place to go if things get out of hand or making sure that you have a way to call for help if necessary.
If you're not sure how to deal with your husband's anger, consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They can help you explore the root cause of the problem and find healthy ways to deal with it. Intimacy should never be used as a weapon, and anger shouldn't get in the way of enjoying your time together.
If your husband gets angry when you don't want to have sex, you may worry he'll start an affair or even leave you. It's important to remember that anger isn't an excuse for bad behavior. If your husband is truly angry about something, he should talk to you about it in a calm and respectful way. If he can't do that, it might be a sign that he needs help managing his anger.
It's not all about your husband here either. When you're not feeling like being intimate, it's always important to understand your own reasoning. Have you noticed your sex drive reducing? Maybe you're just not feeling your body after kids or have gained weight or lost weight. Whatever the case is, it's important to not make any self-disparaging comments in the hope of your husband taking notice to romance you.
Be honest with your husband; tell him why you don't feel like being intimate. It's better to work on the problem together than to keep it to yourself and hope he figures it out. If you need more romance in your relationship, tell him. If you're feeling unattractive, tell him. Honesty is always the best policy in a relationship.
If you're too focused on being the perfect mom, stop. Stop beating yourself up and focus on maintaining a good marriage. If your marriage is healthy, you're going to be a happier mom and will most likely raise healthier children. If you're too caught up in being the perfect mom, you might miss out on spending time with your spouse, which will cause estrangement, and your children will notice.
Then, there's the harsh truth. Maybe your sex life was never that great or you feel like you two fell into a routine. It's still best for you to be direct with your husband. Experiment and tell him your likes and dislikes. Go on vacation and try something new with each other. Keeping things fresh and fun will only allow you and your husband to grow closer.
It's possible that regardless of your reasoning, it may be time to seek out an expert, whether it be a marriage counselor or sex therapist, that can help put the passion back into your marriage and remind you why you got married in the first place.