It’s very easy to ignore red flags when you’re excited about a relationship. We want to be married to the right person for us, the kind of person that makes us feel special most days. We know the things we like about the person, but sometimes there are gaps and blind spots we just can’t see. When red flags begin showing up in your relationship, it’s pivotal that you don’t ignore them. When you do, it will sabotage your relationship and leave you with a lot of heartaches. There are also red flags that you don’t even realize apply to you too. If all the signs point to trouble, there probably is. Here are six relationship red flags you should never overlook in a relationship.
It’s no secret that if your relationship lacks trust, there will be many issues. Trust is something we all want to have in our relationships. When it’s absent, this is a major red flag of insecurities in the relationship. When trust is missing, it can also stunt the growth of your relationship. Some of the ways trust is often broken in relationships include not being there for your partner in times of need, lying or manipulating your partner, not being open about your feelings, and withholding information, particularly in times of need. If you want to restore trust after it’s been broken, consider the reason behind the lie or betrayal. The betrayal of trust may be a result of misunderstanding or miscommunication. While this doesn’t justify the behavior, it can help you make sense of it. Also, be sure to communicate. This may be one of the hardest, painful, or uncomfortable things you’ll do, but communication is one of the greatest features of rebuilding trust after a relationship betrayal.
Be concerned about the person you’re with if they have addictive behavior. If they are, they are capable of seriously damaging the relationship. These addictive behaviors aren’t just the ones we talk about a lot like drugs, alcohol, gambling, and pornography. They can also include an activity or behavior that is controlling their life. These can include things like fitness, shopping, and sports. They may seem small, but his or her addiction can take priority over your relationship. While nobody is free of certain habits and traits, you should steer clear dating people who put their hobbies and habits above their relationships.
Many people live in pain and darkness due to abusive relationships. Abuse can show up in many forms – physical, mental, verbal, and emotional. If you’re feeling powerless in your relationship, this is a big red flag. If you feel like your significant other is loving you one minute and pushing you away the next, all while punishing you for not doing things correctly, you are being abused. The constant emotional roller coaster ride of arguments and apologies will eventually wear you down. It’s unhealthy and a big indicator that it’s time to walk away.
Holding the Past Over You
Any partner that holds the past over you is not the person you should be with. Be mindful of those who will say things like, “I used to be so much happier,” or “You used to look so much better.” These people will belittle their partners and make them feel like they are forced to live up to certain standards. This is unfair and unrealistic. While it can be nice to reminisce, it’s not fair to hold those expectations over the person you claim to love.
Another thing to watch out for is someone who judges you for something that happened before your relationship with them. Your past should not be the focus. Anyone who holds your past discretions over you is not the one for you.
Fear of Commitment
This is a flag that is often overlooked but should never be ignored. When we are seeking a lasting connection and a romantic bond, we don’t want to look at their long relationship history. You may find yourself with someone who claims that every single relationship fails, or that all connections are unhealthy. If this is the case, the issue may be something they are unwilling to accept responsibility for. They may be the kind of person who cannot see their faults or believe they aren’t responsible for doing any of the major work in the relationship. These are all significant signs that they are unwilling to commit. Don’t ignore this.
If you begin noticing that the person you’re with can’t account for specific activities and behaviors, pay attention. This is a red flag. If your partner’s behavior doesn’t add up, it’s probably for a reason. Keep an eye on their actions. Are they always on their phone and computer? Are they suddenly working longer hours and seeming more distracted? If you notice that these things are all going on, especially at odd hours, it’s time for you to confront your partner about it. If they get incredibly defensive when you ask them questions about their actions, they are probably doing things they shouldn’t be doing. Your partner should want you to be comfortable and keep trust present. If they do anything but that, it’s a red flag that shouldn’t be ignored.
It’s easy to ignore the signs that something is wrong in the relationship when we’re in love, but we must keep our eyes open. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. If you feel like something is up, talk to your partner about it. Instead of making assumptions or jumping to conclusions, be honest, and open with your loved one about your concerns. Be mindful of how they respond. Someone who loves and cares about you will ensure that you are ok. If they are doing anything other than restoring confidence, beware.